In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
