No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
