It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
