I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
