I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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