DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
