my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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