If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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