Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize