It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
