jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
