...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
