just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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