There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you win again, gameday.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
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If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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