You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heās Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā tv lol
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I donāt care that heās a decade younger. Heās cute and I need a good penising
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