just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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