too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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