I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
