I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
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I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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