Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Nobody cheats on THIS.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
