I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
