you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
