I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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