Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Congratulations! We have a period
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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