Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
