His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
