i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
