I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
false alarm, still single
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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