I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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