Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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