awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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