dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
