so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
