He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
