dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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