Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
