I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
