You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
