Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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