Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
