My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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