I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
