So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
