That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My penis needs a shock collar
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize