You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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