Kiss
Puke
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
