As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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