I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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