remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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