Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
