The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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