As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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