i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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