I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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