So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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