Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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