Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
