P.S. I can't hear my feet
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
