It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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