Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
